You’re a woman. You go to work every morning. If you’re like me, you kiss your children goodbye, and it breaks your heart to leave their beautiful, sad faces. But someone must pay the bills, and in this modern society, that responsibility has fallen on women’s shoulders in many cases.
I am a woman who works in finance, so I sit at my desk, navigating numbers, making judgment calls and decisions about resources and money all day. I function with all the masculine energy that exists in my being. When in meetings, I speak with a strong voice, direct and unapologetic, commanding attention and communicating boldly.
Again, if your day is like mine, it ends at 5 pm (approximately) and you crawl into your car to drive home, exhausted from the role you’ve played all day. All you want is to be a woman. But what in the world does that mean? What does it look like? And how can you possibly just change hats like that?
I’ve thought a great deal about this, as it causes problems for me in multiple areas of life — motherhood, friendship, romance, etc. I am not only a woman who values her femininity, but I also am a woman who is a huge advocate of women’s equality… so this raises a number of different questions:
How can I hold on to my femininity throughout the day and keep my energy balanced between home and work?
What does feminine energy even look like in the first place?
How can I be more feminine in relationships without sacrificing my strength?
Here is my first shot at offering you some answers. Please don’t hesitate to add your thoughts!
Day-to-Day Femininity
Be receptive and open to feedback, ideas and opinions (unless they are immoral or unethical).
Be flexible and go with the flow more instead of being so intense. (This one is a stumbling block for me.)
Let your guard down and be approachable and open so that people feel comfortable telling you what’s really going on. Oftentimes we forget that women are good listeners, because we don’t have a need to always fix the problem but are comfortable empathizing.
Humility is key… when something good occurs, be grateful and give credit to your colleague if he or she helped make it happen.
Live a harmonious life by giving balanced attention to your personal and professional life. Both are important and deserve your feminine energy, not just one or the other.
Trust your intuition and feminine common sense. Answers are found within you, so listen to your heart and body then respond accordingly.
Your Feminine Energy
Your inner beauty is your signature, your trademark, and what makes you uniquely “you”. Do the work to resolve any unhealthy issues that keep you from being radiant. Handle difficult situations with grace, and let your true internal beauty shine through.
Women are innately generous, giving time and attention by listening to and hearing people. Be generous with your support and your time when investing in relationships.
Just as you would imagine, women are nurturers. Women were given the gift of motherhood, and inherently know how to nourish people in relationship. Trust your instincts here.
Don’t be afraid to be emotional. Be present with the feelings that come up inside of you and express how you really feel! There is value to your emotions and you do not need to hide them.
Sensuality is not bad. Women are beautiful creatures with beautiful bodies. We are sensual beings, and despite messages that bombard us about our sensuality being private, you can still be comfortable with and love your body. How you feel about yourself translates loudly to those around you.
Femininity in Relationships
Stop being the sole initiator. We have been over-programmed to go out and get what we want in this era of liberation and equality. So I encourage you to ease up on doing ALL the initiating. Let the other person initiate occasionally, then respond to them. In doing so, you will learn a great deal about how they “do” relationships, how much they want (or don't want) you in their life, how much effort they are willing to invest... all important information you need to make good decisions about growing a healthy relationship.
Vulnerability is scary for some women — but let them experience the real you, both the “good” and the “bad”. If you cannot be authentic with your love, then you will never find the depths of it.
As I mentioned above, empathy is one of woman’s greatest strengths, so be sensitive to their thoughts, feelings and challenges.
Surrender your control of things. Don’t be afraid to communicate what you want, but then let go. Being patient also goes hand-in-hand with this idea. Let things unfold naturally instead of trying to rush. Enjoy the journey. When facing challenges, know that everything is happening for your greater good and look around for the lesson you should be learning about yourself.
Express your affections verbally, emotionally, and physically so that your partner knows you care for them. If you keep your affection to yourself, your emotions will remain a secret. Just as in the day-to-day balance of your generosity, be generous in sharing yourself, your time and your love with others.
Be gentle on yourself and your partner. Heavy-handedness or stubbornness is not feminine. Being sweet makes you far more “lovable”.
Let go of the past disappointments and heartaches from prior relationships. Open your heart to Love again. This can be very scary for some of us who have been deeply wounded. It takes time and effort and communication. But if you choose to let Love drive your relationship, it will help you leave your fears behind.
Obviously, being a woman is not something we can sum up in a simple article about feminine energy. So please do comment and add your ideas. I’d love to hear about your experiences, from all gender perspectives. Everyone has a different viewpoint, and mine is just one voice. What do you think makes a someone feminine?
Love, Lady Grey
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